ON TWO FEET...

Grammar be damned!

ORFN, San Francisco's most prolific writer, strikes again.

This is just sad. And technically, I don't think "...of Jennifer" is correct.

I guess jaundiced lips are in this Fall.

I'm all for the Boys & Girls Club...

but this kid scares the hell out of me.

No comment.

This is what really happened to John Ritter (a.k.a. Jack Tripper). He was eaten by a bush, but the media won't tell you that. Notice the corduroy blazer... that's all the proof I need.

Why not dress up that ol' door bell?

This is the result of laying on the couch and staring at a lamp for too long.